Joey’s Poem

“The Agony of Addiction”

By Joseph M. Lavin

I have not taken the road less travelled…
My innocence has been burned away, my mind is baffled
For so long I’ve wandered down this road
Alone in the desert, no water… food…

On the surface I look calm and ready
Deep down inside I fear I’ve given up already
The tears and pain have begun to surface
For so long I’ve wondered if I have a purpose

Anger fuels the hatred I have towards myself and others
When I close my eyes all I can see are the tears of my mother
I’ve given up everything I am in this fight
The only glimpse of hope I see are found in the stars and moon at night

The calm before the storm I know all too well
Just when I think there’s an ounce of hope
I find myself back in this living hell

It’s good versus evil until the end
My pain stricken sins continue to fuel the fire, over and over again…
I look in the mirror but I’m nowhere to be found
I’m lost, I’m hostage, my soul is tied and bound…

This is insanity in its purest form
It’s between heaven and hell that I now find myself torn
I’m screaming inside for someone to set me free
The wall is so strong and thick, no one can hear me

I contemplate suicide but it hasn’t finished its fun
Desperation overwhelms me,
I scream out, I give up
 no more, you’ve won!

I beg to God for mercy
I beg to God for peace of mind
I beg to God to set my soul free, one last time
Written by Joseph Lavin July 2009